Imagine being in a relationship in which you are treated like an equal, consciously and unconsciously, sexually, emotionally, socially, romantically, without being bound by gender expectations, without risk of pregnancy (or having your reproductive rights taken away from you), without feelings of inferiority, without being mistreated or neglected because men don’t understand your body and can’t be bothered to learn how to give you pleasure (or that you even deserve pleasure). Imagine having a reciprocating relationship with someone who knows how to touch you and how to talk to you, who will never abuse you or take away your consent. Imaging feeling powerful, safe, like the default rather than the specific or second-class. Imagine not requiring special handling by awkward, inconsiderate men who were never taught any better. Imagine being allowed to touch and enjoy and indulge without apprehension. Imagine being able to trust your partner. Imagine knowledge and understanding, someone who sees your depths and treats you the way you’d treat yourself if you hadn’t been told from birth that you weren’t worth it.
Girls aren’t “making them gay.”
Girls are fantasizing about being equal.
I have wondering about this in fandom for many years and reading this just made me tear up. I figured this was a big reason, but breaking it down to this extent made me so extremely sad. I realized a long time ago that even if I met the nicest guy in the world, I still have to battle all those things mentioned above. Just being friends is hard. I don’t have a happy history in this area like a lot of women and I have major trust issues with men and I wish somehow that wall could be broken down and we could all truly be seen as equal…as people with value. If you have all of the above with someone of the opposite sex then you are really lucky. See women are expected to give all those things listed above and settle for not getting them in return. I believe it’s a rare thing if you have it returned. Like I said, if I was with the nicest guy in the world I will always doubt myself, think he see’s me as different, talk to me different… Why? Because that’s our experience. This world raises us to believe we are worth absolutely nothing. The idea of being equal is one of our greatest fantasies.
It’s sad that it has to be a fantasy.
It’s totally sad.
But on the other hand, slash writers are some of the most empathetic people I know. And they’re great educators, too, probably in ways they might not expect. A good slash fanfiction writer can help women understand their desires and overcome some of those feelings of shame and worthlessness.
Think about how many girls have learned how to masturbate thanks to slash fanfiction.
Sometimes just knowing that we’re all reading and enjoying the stories is an immense comfort. People will tell you that slash is trash, that fangirls are desperate and pathetic, but ladies telling ladies that they’re allowed is a powerful thing.
Yeah, oh man. This is. Yeah, this is a lot. I especially feel the taboo surrounding female sexuality to the point that even though I’m Pretty Gay myself, I’m uncomfortable with my own sexuality (not as in orientation) and also dealing with the sexuality of other women. Like in some ways, I am always hesitant to appreciate sexiness in women because we are almost never shown female sexuality in a safe, respectful, and equal way and it still freaks me out.
Ladies, I am holding out my hand. Do you trust me?
I need you to open Google Maps. Locate your nearest mall. Get in your car. Drive to Yankee Candle.
Past the seasonal pumpkin display, near the back of the store, you will find a trash pile Man Candle section. You will see candles called MMM, Bacon!. Riding Mower. Man Town. (I’m not kidding. Man Town.) Stay strong. Not in this section, but likely very near this section, you will find a candle called Mountain Lodge.
Hold this jar in your hands like a talisman. Close your eyes and picture a man.
I want to be clear: I’m not talking about a Hugh Dancy. Or an Andrew Garfield, a Ben Whishaw, even a Tom Hiddleston. This exercise requires someone in the Chris Evans weight class. The Richard Armitage department. Someone with smile lines around his eyes who could chop the cedar for your bower with his own hands, strangle an alpha wolf, carry you home when you sprain your ankle in the woods, bench press your entire body. Picture this man in your mountain home with a full beard, a slightly grimy white henley, a fond half smile he reserves only for you. Now open the lid and smell Mountain Lodge.
Steady yourself on the man candle display. Give yourself a second. No, you’re not wrong. Yes, the Yankee Candle Company has just eliminated the need for men. This medium tumbler Mountain Lodge candle jar is now your boyfriend. The Yankee Candle Company has effectively replaced the need for contact with the male half of our species with a compact and clean-burning candle in a jar.
"Do you like this one?" the cashier asked, ringing me up. "Every man should be required by law to smell like what this candle smells like," I replied intensely. "That’ll be $12.01," she said.
crimeandcricket said: By the way, both times in that last message I typed "Ray" instead of "Rei" because I'm way too tired to be in charge of a keyboard, so now I'm trying to work out what the heck a xxxHolic Ray is and how on earth a Holic/Due South crossover would even work...
I don’t know, but I am thinking of a Diefen-mokona and crying a little with how cute it would be.
Stanley Kowalski decides to pose as Ray Vecchio because it changes the characters of his name, and he can hide from spirits, but his own power doesn’t recognise him anymore, and Ray feels very alone.
Ray breaks a vase at the Canadian Consulate, and in the spirit of Canadian-American cooperation, goes on supernatural errands around Chicago with Thatcher’s creepily polite errand boy. I don’t even know what this show would be about - all I know is that the finale would end with Ray purposefully breaking another vase because he doesn’t want Fraser to go.
oh fuck fuck fuck, speaking of a supernatural Due South, you know what would be amazing? A Dresden Files!due South AU. Maybe Fraser wears his polite criminal persona from “Chicago’s Most Wanted”, and RayK is so so absolutely Dresden. I need to find this fic stat.
Oh my god, Dief would be a perfect Mokona!! Chipping in with sly comments and stealing gourmet homemade donuts from the kitchen.
Lieutenant Welsh is totally Yuuko
Ohhhh, but you know what I do want? DeadBob only appearing to Ray instead of to Fraser, a la grandpa Doumeki. Offering
marriage partnership tips and asking how his son is treating him and generally embarrasing and annoying the hell out of Ray all day every day, and loving it.
Yesss, I love the idea of supernatural errands with the creepily polite errand boy! And the finale sounds absolutely perfect. I know, I’m finding it really hard to work out how these series would crossover, which is odd because I usually love xxxHolic crossed with ANYTHING. Maybe because I can’t decide if Fraser has a wish. Maybe, after his only friend is taken away from him to go deep undercover in the mob, his wish is for love, BUT, the price is that he has to pretend that his new Ray is the same person as his old Ray, and so they can ~never be together~. Because it’s Clamp and it has to be angsty.
I haven’t seen/read Dresden Files, but from reading up on it, hell yeah that sounds like an amazing crossover! If this is a fic that exists I would absolutely read it anyway.
So when people complain about grammar and punctuation, I think it isn’t that our grammar and punctuation have gotten worse, but that it used to be that only writers wrote. Only people who were in education wrote, but now we all write: we all text, we all post. I feel like we’ve lost phones but we’ve gained this whole different type of correspondence that hasn’t existed since the age of letter writing."
Also, super-importantly so I’m going to bold and all-caps it: IN THE OLD DAYS PEOPLE’S LETTERS WERE FUCKING FULL OF SPELLING AND GRAMMAR MISTAKES AND ABBREVIATIONS AND SYMBOLS AND IDOSYNCRASIES.
If you take a look at ACTUAL LETTERS especially of any but the higher (and thus more formally educated and more socially required to PERFORM that education) ranks, they read like people’s emails with more random capitals and weird spellings that make no sense because you don’t share their accent.
Nobody knows this solely because how do we ever read these letters, if we do? IN TWO PLACES: EDITED EXCERPTS IN HISTORY TEXTS, WITH CORRECTED SPELLING AND GRAMMAR, or IN NOVELS WHERE THEY WERE WRITTEN IN FAIR HAND IN THE FIRST PLACE.
The only way we encounter the letters of the past deliberately erases their unique handprint.